The Buzz (Lynn Kerstan)

Back in the day, I was a happening kinda gal. At least, I tried to be. I’m talking about information here, not behavior. At one time, I renounced worldly things for a life of prayer and service. But when I returned to the world, I jumped in with both feet and arms wide open.

I still want to know everything, including some really bad things. I want to do a lot of things, too. But nothing I’d be ashamed to tell a friend about, and I have exceptionally high-quality friends. The good thing about knowledge is that it’s entirely guilt free.

The problem is, information is rushing past me at the speed of light. Before I even know a trend exists, it’s come and gone. Which means I didn’t miss much, I suppose.

But as a writer/editor/teacher, I find it useful to keep current with the lingo. Like trends, most buzzwords have the life span of fruit flies. But I’ve been collecting a small list of words and phrases that appeal to me, at least enough to talk about them here. As you’ll see, a lot of them are web related.

Like First Eyes, which refers to the first place you go after signing on to the computer. Mine should be the book-in-progress, but that rarely happens unless I’m on deadline. Usually I leap directly to e-mail and am forced to spend way too much time frying spam.

When reading mail, I sometimes find messages that are forward-worthy. But only the really, really good ones ever get sent on. No one wants to be deluged with stuff I think is clever.

Research comes next. All those niggling details I’ve made notes to look up, and the details I already looked up and was sure I’d remember . . . except I don’t. Then Internesia sets in. I can’t recall the website where I found the info or which bookmarks will get me back there. That’s akin to Infonesia, when you remember spotting something in a book or magazine or on the teevee but can’t pin down the source.

While tracking down what I need, I often find myself plowing water–getting caught up in something that is essentially useless. Or the furkid (a pet treated rather too much like a child) paws for attention. Almost anything can distract me from work. We won’t even talk about the blogs and the on-line magazines and newspapers. I’m an omni-viewer. I’ll read almost anything.

As the day wears on, at work on my projects or running errands, I generally experience most of the following:

The Oh-No Moment–when you realize you’ve screwed up and it’s too late. Like pulling away from the curb into traffic and realizing you left your Starbuck’s Mocha Grande sitting on the roof of the car.

The Thinko–a mistake, something like a typo, that happens only in the brain. If you speak your Thinko, it’s a Blurto.

The BFO (Blinding Flash of the Obvious)–the explanation is, um, obvious.

FOBIO: Frequently Outwitted By Inanimate Objects, such as can openers, vacuum-cleaner bags, or anything requiring assembly.

And my favorite. Fugitive Information. That’s anything I used to know, but it never mattered back then so I let it slip away. But now I need that information, by gosh by golly, and it’s gone!

Oh, well. Must get back to work. And I’m afraid I’ve just personified another favorite new word.
Blahger: A blogger with little to say except blah-blah-blah.

Have you come across any good buzzwords or phrases? Share them with us.