Stop Singing in the Shower

Now they’re telling us to stop singing in the shower? I heard the news Monday morning on the Today show. A new study says we waste nine extra minutes of water and electrical energy when we warble Lionel Ritchie songs in the shower. Makes you wonder how an operatic aria would clock in. The study didn’t actually mention Lionel Ritchie, but for some reason, he’s the artist who came to mind when I heard about it. I’d be more likely to sing something from The Bodyguard soundtrack while pretending I’m Whitney Houston in her heyday. What a voice! I might even dance a bit, although that could get dangerous. I’m not known for my rhythm, and there’s not much traction on wet shower tiles.

For me, all this new information begs a question. Is anybody else getting tired of studies telling us what to eat and drink, what to wear, what to weigh, how to think, how much sleep we need and the best way to get it? Exercise is another recurrent theme. How much is necessary for optimal health—a minute at a time, ten minutes, a solid hour and not a minute less? I can remember reading that it had to be ninety minutes at a whack to get any aerobic benefit. I’d need resuscitation.

Who’s doing all these studies and where are they getting the money? I’m not against studies, per se. I was a research psych major in college and they’re often the ones who run the studies. Some of them were fascinating, especially in grad school. One of my favorites was a sleep deprivation study. The results provided evidence that sleep deprivation makes people less depressed. How about that for a new depression therapy? Of course, the longer you go without sleep the more likely you are to have hallucinations and eventually become psychotic, but at least you won’t be depressed.

Studies provide us with more information, and that’s a good thing . . . until it becomes too much information. Between the books, newspapers and magazines I read, the Internet research I do, and the cable television I watch, I spend a lot of time in Information Overload Land, also known as Headache Land. It can be overwhelming, especially when the information is conflicting. Has anyone else noticed how often these studies contradict each other? Don’t drink coffee! It’s bad for the heart. Do drink coffee! It makes you smarter and more regular. No, don’t. Coffee can reduce fertility. Drink wine, don’t drink wine, drink only red wine. Sheesh.

About this time of year, the pro and anti-flu shot people start duking it out about whether the shots are safe. I’ve had some personal experience with flu shots, so I’m spared all the arguing. When I was caring for my mom, I came down with a ghastly case of the flu. I was terrified she would catch it, but there was no one else to care for her. My only hope was that because she had badly compromised lungs and had religiously gotten her flu and pneumonia shots, she might be protected.

Boy, was she protected. While I was going through truckloads of tissues and drowning in my own bodily fluids, she never even got a sniffle. She was in her late eighties at the time, tipped the scale at about ninety pounds, was on oxygen, and suffered from severe COPD (chronic obstructive pulmonary disorder). That made a believer out of me. I’m getting a flu shot.

There always seems to be some controversy about the use of nutritional supplements and medicinal herbs, and rightly so, in some cases. Some of them are contraindicated with certain medications. I notice doctors are now asking people to list the supplements they take. That’s always a challenge for me. I take quite a few—and I briefly considered adding another one to my regime when I heard a nutritionist on TV recommend colloidal silver for candida, which causes yeast infections, thrush, and other unpleasant things.

Since I’ve incubated a few yeasties in my day, I decided to check it out at the health food store. Thank goodness, I had the presence of mind to ask if there were any side effects to taking colloidal silver. The name alone made me nervous. The clerk who was helping me frowned at the question, possibly aware that she was about to blow the sale. A long moment later she admitted that colloidal silver can turn your skin silvery gray. She neglected to mention that the grayness is permanent. It NEVER goes away.

Now that I think about it, maybe someone should do a study about the safety of colloidal silver. I did my own online research and found a picture of a woman whose facial skin had gone the color of car hubcaps. I don’t mean to be facetious. It was truly scary. I also found lots of conflicting claims about the product. If you take a certain kind of colloidal silver, you’ll be fine. No thanks! I’ll deal with yeasties the old-fashioned way. By avoiding sugar and starving the little buggers. Sugar’s bad for you anyway. There've been lots of studies about the evils of refined sugar, and only one that I can remember saying it was good for you. Something about improving the memory. Perhaps, if I had a piece of candy, it would come back to me.

Anyway, back to my original thought—showers and singing. Nine extra minutes is a long time, and I’m interested in conserving water too, but the experts are forgetting that for lots of us singing in the shower is important for our mental health. It’s a form of self-expression that doesn’t work anywhere else. I actually sound a little like Whitney Houston in the shower. I do not sound remotely like her anywhere else in my house or while driving my car, the other place I like to sing.

What do you bet there’s another study just around the corner, claiming that singing in the shower increases libido or longevity or the ability to pick winning lottery numbers?

Sounds good to me!

Suz