The Calendar Gremlins

I never realized that December was the shortest month until today.

Yes, I know that technically it has 31 days. My calendar tells me that.

I don’t believe it.

The calendar gremlins are playing tricks on me.

It seems yesterday was December 1st. I had an entire month to do house decoration, hold a party for my chapter, buy presents on behalf of my mother and myself, finish those infamous contest entries and take a final look see on the galleys. And I was going to write at least a hundred pages of the book in progress.

I am here to say I'm a dismal failure, and I blame it on a faulty calendar. It should be December 5th, not December 15h. The cards should have been in the mail. My mother’s room at the nursing home should have been decorated. The galleys should have been corrected.

Yes, there are a few successes. The party for my chapter was a success, but only because a kind soul came over the day earlier and helped me decorate the tree. My dogs are being exceptionally restrained in not attacking the tree, mainly, I think, because of culinary bribes. I did much of my Christmas shopping in September at my favorite crafts festival, but now the most nagging ones remain. I think I’m going to take Maggie’s advice on three of them. Adopting a live animal – with the tangible evidence of a stuffed animal – would delight them. But there are other more difficult ones.

And no time to put the proper thinking into it.

Like Krissie, I love Christmas. Like Tara, I love cooking, but my specialty is buttered and salted pecans. That’s on my agenda this weekend. I make gobs and gobs for neighbors, friends, relatives and nurses at my mom’s nursing home. (See the recipe below). Try them. They are sinfully rich and irresistible and a hit at every get-together.

But still, so much remains undone. I thought this year would be different. That I would better plan. That I would do everything in advance and enjoy the season. That I wouldn’t wait until December 20 to write my cards and send the packages at obscenely expensive prices because of my tardiness. That I wouldn’t have to run to my favorite bird seed and gift store on Christmas Eve to get those last minute presents.

I was going to be ORGANIZED this year.

But the calendar gremlins got me again. Somehow they jerked about fourteen days from the calendar. It was December 1st and now it’s December 15th, and I simply don’t know what happened to the days in-between.

That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.

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THE TOASTED BUTTERED AND SALTED PECANS RECIPE:
Preheat the oven to 200 degrees.
Use a shallow baking pan. Spread pecan halves over the bottom, about two or three deep. Cut stick of butter into eighths and arrange strategically among the pecans.
Bake about thirty minutes. Take from oven and rearrange until every pecan is coated in butter. Add more butter if necessary. Salt each pecan. Bake for another thirty minutes at 200 degrees.
Remove from oven and again shake. Add butter if necessary to make sure all are coated.
Bake again at 175 degrees for an hour. Check frequently to make sure they do not get too brown.
Take out and pat with paper towels.
The secret is very low heat, patience and frequent turning.


And now I'm off to try to recapture a day or two from those gremlins.