Holiday High and LowLights (Suzanne Forster)

Hey, I survived Christmas! How about you? I know the holidays aren’t over yet, but the crazy shopping part is—unless you’re going for the after-Christmas sales, in which case, I’d send you strength, except that I don’t have any left!

So many interesting and unusual things happened this holiday season that I decided to try and memorialize the holiday highlights and lowlights in their own Top Ten lists. Since it’s traditional to get the bad news over with first, here are my:

Top Ten Holiday Lowlights:

10. Christmas ecards that won’t open, no matter how hard you stare at the blankety blank bar on the bottom left of your screen.

9. Wearing my new bulky sweater with the reindeer horns as the temperature spiked to eighty-plus degrees on Christmas day.

8. Mall Rage. Last week I blogged about the Ninja Gramma at Macy’s. If you caught that post you already know what I mean by Mall Rage. Actually, if you’ve been Christmas shopping even once in your life you already know what I mean by Mall Rage.

7. Mall parking lots that turn into Demolition Derbies. Need I say more? There really should be a video game called Parking Lot Demolition Derby, Holiday Edition!

6. My encounter of the third kind with an SUV she-demon. It happened in a parking lot, of course. The she-D was in her hulking SUV and I was in my pint-sized sports car. I could see her in the rear-view mirror, her eyes demon red, her arms waving wildly and her teeth bared, except when she was shrieking at me. I’ll never know what I did to provoke her. The parking lot rows were narrow and clogged, and my biggest concern was avoiding the pickup with the block-long trailer hitch. I certainly didn’t steal her parking spot. I wouldn’t have blamed her for going postal on me if I had. Sadly, I suspect hers will be one of the faces that flashes before my eyes should I ever have a brush with death.

5. The gift basket lady at Hi-Time Cellars. The grinch lives and he’s a she! I won’t go into details. There would almost certainly be a lawsuit, but I will find a way to blog about this in the future. It needs to be done.

4. Stores that put up their Christmas decorations in October, before Thanksgiving and take them down before Christmas, in preparation for the clearance sales. Bah humbug, I say.

3. Playing What Is Your Elf Name? and getting Wacky Twinkle Toes. Why couldn’t I have been Batty Angel Pants or even Peppermizsmickeifigus? Here’s the link. Give it a try. Maybe you’ll score a better name than I did. http://www.jokesunlimited.com/christmas_elf_name.php

2. Getting spit on in the grocery store by a woman discussing bacon.

AND THE #1 LOWLIGHT:
New Years is right around the corner, folks. Soon it will be time to break more resolutions.

HIGHLIGHTS:

10. The fabulous links that came though my Yahoo group. They took me to fun places like the What’s Your Elf Name? game and magical places where fairy tale Christmas scenes came to life. There were also a couple of shockers, like Strippin’ Santa, lol.

9. Discovering a new champagne at Christmas brunch. My daughter in law served Schloss Brebrich at her scrumptious brunch yesterday. It’s light, dry, very very bubbly and only $4 a bottle at Trader Joe’s.

8. Watching kids open gifts, even grown up kids.

7. The valiant effort many people make to be in the spirit, even when they’re not. It’s kind of cool, really. We all try a little harder. Well, most of us. The basket lady and the SUV she-demon would be notable exceptions.

6. Random Act of Kindness #1: People who refuse to play Demo Derby in the mall parking lots and graciously give up parking spaces that were rightfully theirs. It happened to me twice and went a long way to restoring my faith in humanity.

5. Random Act of Kindness #2: Being let off early from work the Friday before Christmas by your boss, who did not leave early himself, but instead stayed so his loyal staff could get home to their families. This happened to the dh. Any wonder that his boss’s staff is so loyal. What a guy.

4. Snow. I didn’t have any of my own, being a southern Californian, but I lived vicariously through the televised reports of the Colorado blizzard, and while I sympathized greatly with those stranded at the airport, I envied them too.

3. Random Act of Kindness #3: One of my fellow broads read my yearning posts about snow and sent me a Jacquie Lawson card with the most breathtaking snow scene. And Chudleigh, of course. Bless you, Pat!

2. Tears. So many tears this season, mostly of joy, a few of sadness, but all very precious in different ways. This is my first Christmas without my mother. I miss her greatly, but she had a spirited life and a peaceful passing, and I will always be grateful for both.

AND THE #1 HIGHLIGHT:
I didn’t get my tongue stuck to a frozen flagpole. I cringe every time I watch that scene from A Christmas Story.

Wishing all of you many bright and wonderful highlights this holiday season!
Suz