What's Worse Than a Lump of Coal For Christmas? (Suzanne Forster)

Revisions! I got my line-edited manuscript and revision letter in the mail a little over a week ago, and the changes are due before Christmas!!! Warning: I may be using lots of exclamation points in this blog. Warning #2: The blog will be short, so maybe the exclamation points won’t bother you too much. I guess they’re better than swearing a blue streak.

You could say I’m snowed under, and you could say it feels like thirty tons, although it’s still not real snow. Some of you will understand the thirty tons and real snow references. I blogged last week about southern California’s faux snow—and got some great comments. Thanks to those of you who shared your real snow experiences!

What’s falling from skies this week are large white pieces of paper, an entire manuscript’s worth. And among those pages is the dreaded revision letter. (!!!) This one was short and sweet. Just change all the characters and the plot. No big deal. (!!!!!!!) Okay, just kidding. If my editor had said that I’d be flying up to San Francisco to jump off the bridge. The actual changes aren’t unreasonable. Make this character more dangerous. Make that character less dangerous. And while you’re at it, throw in another plot twist. No big deal, right? Except that it’s Christmas, and I have a gazillion other things to do (don’t we all?), and manuscripts have a way of turning on you when you try to revise them. What originally appeared to be little fixes always turn into big ones. It’s called The Ripple Effect. (!!!!!!!!!)
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My mom had a million sayings for coping with life. One of them was her total assurance that we’re never given more than we can handle. Obviously, she didn’t have to come up with plot twists while negotiating the hordes to do her Christmas shopping! She would also have gently reminded me that the rippling revisions might actually make my story better—and she would have been right about that, especially where the hero’s concerned. I’m darkening him up just a bit, and at the risk of sounding immodest, he’s going to be wicked good, folks. (muahahahaha) And speaking of sayings, my favorite saying is apropos of nothing, except that it’s about clutter, and at the moment my office is living proof that wherever there’s a flat surface someone will find something to put on it. That’s Ballweg’s Theory, by the way.

The list of things real-life things I have to do before Christmas is endless. I actually managed to get a few Christmas cards addressed over the weekend, but as of yet I’ve done no serious shopping. Haven’t even made up my lists. I did do a bit of decorating. You don’t believe me, right? Okay, not inside the house, other than the single poinsettia on the dining room table. Thank heavens for poinsettias. Think anyone will notice there’s no tree, no presents, no holiday goodies or eggnog? It’s a good thing my husband and I are mature adults with grown children, and have very low expectations this time of year.

My outside decorating consisted of replanting the front deck, which I did the week before I got the revisions. Otherwise, it never would have happened. In my flower boxes I planted rows of crimson, burgundy and white snapdragons, the cute white pansies with the black centers, red impatiens, and two kinds of trailers, one with sweet little white flowers that look like snowflakes. I also got some gorgeous color bowls with red poinsettias and white pansies. It’s pretty, and I’m so glad it’s done. It may the only thing that’s going to get done this year in the way of Christmas decorations.

But there may be some good news hidden in all of this holiday doom and gloom. It just occurred to me that with all the deadline pressure those lumps of coal I’m trying to turn into a plot twist could come out sparkling like diamonds. Let’s hope! (This calls for more exclamation points, but I’m sure I’ve used up my quota by now, probably for the year.)

So, what do I want for Christmas? Besides real snow? I’d love the Revisions Angel to come and sprinkle fairy dust on this manuscript and make it perfect. If that’s not going to happen, then how about some chocolate for energy and maybe a hot toddy or two to calm my nerves? Ah, yes, that would be good.

Suz