Best Laid Plans (Suzanne Forster)

My blog last Tuesday was about discrimination of the basis of appearance. I’d seen an Oprah show and been dismayed by the assertion—and anecdotal evidence—that some of the most painful discrimination goes on within racial groups, and that contrary to conventional wisdom, we may apply harsher standards to those most like us, and closest to us.

The responses I got to the blog were brilliant and thought-provoking. I wanted to do a follow-up, but it was going to be based on a private email I received that raised some very provocative questions. My plan was to quote from the email, which I now find I can’t put my hands on. Did I mention that my computer eats email?

I’m hoping to have a replacement email to quote from by next Tuesday, but meanwhile, I’m not completely blogless. I found a little something in my files that I thought was priceless—and useful! I don’t where it originated, but I’ve tried the three little words and they work like a charm, so I’m sharing them with all of you.

HANDLING TELEMARKETERS AND JUNK MAIL!!

Tips for Handling Telemarketers:

Three Little Words That Work!!

(1) The three little words are: "Hold On, Please..."

Saying this, while putting down your phone and walking off (instead of hanging up immediately) would make each telemarketing call so much more time-consuming that boiler room sales would grind to a halt.

Then when you eventually hear the phone company's "beep-beep-beep" tone, you know it's time to go back and hang up your handset, which has efficiently completed its task.

These three little words will help eliminate telephone soliciting.

(2) Do you ever get those annoying phone calls with no one on the other end?

This is a telemarketing technique where a machine makes phone calls and records the time of day when a person answers the phone. This technique is used to determine the best time of day for a "real" sales person to call back and get someone at home.

What you can do after answering, if you notice there is no one there, is to immediately start hitting your # button on the phone, six or seven times, as quickly as possible. This confuses the machine that dialed the call and it kicks your number out of their system. Gosh, what a shame not to have your name in their system any longer!

(3) Junk Mail Help: When you get "ads" enclosed with your phone or utility bill, return these "ads" with your payment. Let the sending companies throw their own junk mail away. When you get those "pre-approved" letters in the mail for everything from credit cards to second mortgages and similar junk, do not throw away the return envelope.

Most of these come with postage-paid return envelopes, right? It costs them more than the regular thirty-seven cents postage "IF" and when they receive them back.

It costs them nothing if you throw them away! The postage was around fifty cents before the last increase and it is according to the weight. In that case, why not get rid of some of your other junk mail and put it in these cool little postage-paid return envelopes.

One of Andy Rooney's (60 Minutes) idea: Send an ad for your local chimney cleaner to American Express. Send a pizza coupon to Citibank. If you didn't get anything else that day, then just send them their blank application back! If you want to remain anonymous, make sure your name isn't on anything you send them.

You can even send the envelope back empty if you want to just keep them guessing! It still costs them thirty-seven cents.

The banks and credit card companies are currently getting a lot of their own junk back in the mail, but folks, we need to OVERWHELM them. Let's let them know what it's like to get lots of junk mail, and best of all they're paying for it...Twice!

Suz