The Gates of Freedom

I found the cure for wedding stress. Or rather, it found me. And in typical TTQ fashion, the endeavor to get married has become so much more. Just like so many couples go from venue to venue searching out the perfect hall or ballroom or restaurant or club in which to hold their reception, Tim and I spent many evenings visiting Bed & Breakfasts, seeking out the perfect place for our union. Each one we visited had offerings that would suit us. Each one we considered. And yet we kept looking. I now know why. We were being led to our place. The Gates of Freedom.

And to our people, Iris and her husband Jeremy and Innkeeper, Kristin Kitchen. Remarkable people. Kristin and Iris don't just run a business, they don't get up every morning to make money. They get up to make the world a better place. They get up ready to do whatever it takes to make life better for other people.

Starting with The Gates of Freedom. This lovely, 6500 square foot house was built back in the 1800's by an influential and well known family. And quickly became part of the underground railroad. I saw the tiny little door leading into a hot attic hideaway where slaves used to huddle, awaiting their chance to escape to freedom. I stood up there in the heat and felt, not the oppression or discomfort, but the hope and love that emanated from the room. The hope of souls being offered an opportunity to live full and complete lives under their own terms. And the love of those risking and sacrificing much to help get them there.

In 2001, the glorious old home had been named "Blight of the Week" by Cincinnati's News and Entertainment Weekly, CityBeat - a month after Kristin had purchased the crumbling mansion. Previous to the purchase, it had been slated for demolition but because of it's historical significance was not able to be torn down and had been sitting vacant for more than five years. Kristen wasn't moved so much by the walls and mortar and structure of the building, but by its history. She was so moved she spent the next three years lovingly renovating the place, preserving original wood and fixtures where she could, preserving history. She opened for business in 2004. She and her friend and employee, Iris, not only offer a welcoming respite to their weary travelers, but travel services, six acres of beautifully landscaped grounds in which you can't help but find peace and tranquility, educational tours, consulting and party planning, catering, a spa, and conversation and friendship.

And Kristin didn't stop there. With some input from a famous hip hopper who happened to be one of her guests, Kristin, on a trip to Africa, met up with some people who moved her to action again. And many long hours later, she'd helped establish a program that brought careers to unemployed, or underemployed educated Africans.

This year, she and Iris are off again. To an old home on a beach in Florida where the natives who settled the beach a hundred years ago are being squeezed out by the Ritz Carlton, and that kind of living. The owners of the home have been there forever. Yet they can no longer afford to live there, to keep up the beautiful, rambling old place on the beach. Taxes alone are running them ten thousand dollars a year. So Kristin and Iris and friends, weighted down with hammers and nails and paint, are setting off to Florida to fix the place up. And to teach the owners how to run a bed and breakfast to bring in enough revenue to be able to stay in their home.

This week, Iris was rescuing books and art from the trash can of a 'going out of business' book store. She caught the ire of the property manager, and the exasperation of her husband, and wasn't daunted a bit. She was preserving life for those yet to enjoy it.

When Tim and I pulled onto Kristin's Ohio property, we were whisked instantly from city traffic and grime to a wide winding road hidden by walls of trees. Iris greeted Tim and I with a hug. She introduced us to Kristin as their new couple. With a smile and calm that in no way diminishes her determination and energy, she assured us that she and Kristin and their network of friends would provide us with our perfect wedding - whatever we chose that to be.

By the time we left, we had an invitation to Iris' renewal of vows ceremony on the beach in Florida next July. And, I believe, a new friend.

And more than that, we had a clearer glimpse of life. Of our lives and where we wanted them to go. Freedom isn't about being alone. It isn't about not having someone to answer to, or being able to come and go as you please. It isn't about being unattached. It's about being attached to the right people and places and causes. It's about living life to the fullest - whatever our callings might be.

I've pushed hard my whole life to make a difference. To follow my heart, even in the face of some pretty devastating turmoil a time or two, and to somehow make the world, or at least my little corner of it, a better place. This is why I write - not for the contracts (though I'm very very thankful for the five I was just offered) - but for the chance to get my stories out to people who might benefit from them. Even if only to find a brief respite from life's challenges. And now, after visiting Iris, I know for certain that I am on the road to a deeper part of the journey, to live more deeply, be more deeply aware, to make more of a difference - because I'm on the road with a man who stood by my side and was as moved as I was by all that we heard and saw. I cannot wait until August 4th, 2007, when I walk through The Gates of Freedom with Tim and begin to live the emancipated life.