Loves of a Lifetime

Love's a funny thing. All of us here at storybroads write about love. About all different kinds of love, in all different settings and backgrounds and time periods. From vampires to scottish historicals we cover the gamut of people - and sometimes immortals - falling in love. We write about the love of mothers for their children - and fathers too. About the love between friends. And brothers and sisters. We write about love between human beings and the powers that created us. We write about the love of a lifetime.

I have to confess that I am only now, after penning (okay computering) forty-five of these novels myself, discovering what love is really all about. It's about sticking around through the good and bad, and enduring, and caring and nurturing. I knew all that. But it's also about the magic. Really and truly. Not just in the books, but for real. In life. In the midst of the grind and the bills and the responsibilities and the things we can't control, there is magic.

I've found it three times in my life, but I'm only just now realizing how very lucky I am. The love I feel for my daughter is magic. It lifts me up. Carries me beyond the mundane, the sad, the limitations, and gives me something larger than life. Whether I'm with her or not, just having had her, having, with her father, raised her reaches me far beyond my normal capabilities and rewards me far beyond them as well. Having her, loving her, is magic. Having had another life on earth that is physically, spiritually, and emotionally an integral part of me is something no one can ever take away from me.

The second love is my writing. I was recently challenged about what it was all worth. Questioned about the sacrifices, the tension that is a natural part of the process of being a writer in today's market. I could get another job - make enough money to live as I want to. But it's not about the money at all and I saw that very clearly as I sought to explain why I do what I do. It's about the stories that need to be told, and about my ability to tell them. Again, I am incredibly lucky. The ability to write books doesn't come from me. It's part of a force that's stronger than I will ever be. A force working with me, through me, to make something extraordinary. It's magic. I can live without the contracts. I can't live without the stories. I can't live without the writing.

The third love of a lifetime is the man I told you all about last week. I've loved others, but I now know what 'in love' really means. It's the magic. It's the peace and excitement all rolled up into one. It's being ready to explode and looking into his eyes and feeling the calm and the smile and the joy I find there. It's feeling understood. And complete. It's a sense that I've finally arrived. Or, in our case, re-arrived. There's nothing remarkable about this man. And everything remarkable about him. I met him in college. He was the first man I ever dated. The first man I ever kissed. The first man I ever loved. We were young. We misfired. Misread signals. We lost each other. And life changed both of us. And when life was changing again, when it was confusing and frightening and not making any sense anymore, we found each other again. Unexpectedly. Compellingly.

I'd tell you more but I've just been asked to write our story. Fiction based on fact. It's set to be a 2009 release from Harlequin Everlasting so stay tuned!!!

And now for the countdown: Three weeks and three days until the wedding. We're planning an intimate ceremony (just the minister and the two of us with our own vows) in an elegant antique living room in front of a hundred year old mantle at a quaint bed and breakfast in Ohio. The reception is scheduled to be in the same location and will include about fifty of our closest friends and loved ones. My mother and hopefully my sister in law will be going with me to find just the right dress. And I'm wearing roses in my hair. We don't know yet what we're serving, but it'll be great! Or not. I'm probably not going to notice!

Don't get me wrong. This isn't easy. And it doesn't come cheap. I've paid, and am paying dearly for this chance at real, bone deep, peaceful happiness. I've lost much of what matters most to me. Others have been hurt. And are still hurt. The thing is, we were all hurting before, too. Life is messy. And too often painful.

But what I'm noticing is that life is a gift, and it gives us the gifts we need if we can be brave enough, trusting enough, to open the door. I would never in a million years have scripted this turn of events for me. I would have told anyone who suggested that I would ever be in this position again that they were crazy. I knew who I was. I knew what I wanted.

The strange, unpredictable part of it is that I found it. Just not where I knew I would.

Over the next weeks I'll be sharing this journey with you. Anyone out there with stress relieving wedding advice?? Or perhaps an unexpected 'joy' story you could share? We'd sure love to hear them!