Doggie Tales & Ellen (Maggie)

Since my new side job as an advice columnist is going so well, I decided to bring it here today. I'm doing pretty well at implementing all I've learned in my own life. Had another gloriously wonderful weekend, and then an extremely challenging week, but aside from a very brief meltdown last night, I'm staying positive and balanced and pointed downstream. (Last night was bad, but I'm only human, and I had a lot hit me this week. Stuff I created and put into my escrow long ago, no doubt, and stuff that's going to end up benefiting me in the long run, I'm sure. So brief meltdown, quick bounceback, done.)

Anyway, back to the advice thing. Sometimes just talking about the principals of staying positive and pointing downstream and creating our reality, isn't a very clear way of sharing the message. Sometimes, specific examples work best. And there's a perfect one in the news this week.

Ellen Degeneres adopted a dog from a private agency. She signed a contract promising not to give the dog away. This agency screens clients carefully and approves only those they are sure will provide their dogs with a good home. If it doesn't work out, the client is supposed to return to the dog to the agency, and allow them to find another acceptable home. Ellen signed this agreement and took the dog home.

Two weeks later, the dog was apparently not getting along with her cats, so Ellen gave the dog away to what I'm sure was a wonderful family--Ellen's hairstylist and her two daughters. And they adored the dog.

But then the agency found out, and because the contract had been broken, they took the dog from the hairstylist and her two girls, who were understandably heartbroken at the dog's loss.

Heartbroken girls, a disappointed friend, and the next thing you know Ellen's on TV sobbing her heart out and begging the agency to give the dog back, while her publicist is on the phone threatening to sue the agency and ruin their business. And the agency's lawyer is on the Today Show accusing Ellen of crocodile tears and throwing her weight around. Things have become ugly. The owner of the dog adoption agency has received death threats. This is way out of hand.

So how would a person who understands the Law of Attraction have handled this same situation?

First of all, they probably wouldn't have manifested it in the first place. They'd have attracted to themselves the perfect pet for their home situation instead, if that were their deliberate intent. However, let's say they did. Let's say they manifested this dog in their lives, and this agency, and they adopted the dog, and their cats hated it, but their dear friend and her two daughters loved it? How would they have handled the situation?

The simplest way would have been to dig out the contract and take a quick look, then make a phone call to the agency, and have a friendly, loving discussion with them, explaining that the dog and cats didn't get along, but that you had a wonderful family interested, and asking what the process would be from there.

Simple. No broken-hearted girls. No tears on TV. No lawsuits. No death threats.

But let's say you messed up, let your heart rule your head, didn't realize what was in the contract or had forgotten, or whatever, and you gave the dog away. And the situation escalated to the point where the dog was removed from its new home, and the girls were crying over it. How do you keep it from escalating from that point?

Simple. Another friendly phone call. You apologize, because you were in the wrong, and explain how you came to ignore or forget that contract, and you tell them you're sure this family would qualify to own the dog, and you ask if you could bring them in to go through the process as outlined in the terms of the agreement, as you admit, you should have done in the first place.

What you do not do is make what is a personal disagreement between you and this agency into a national media event by going on TV and crying. Because by giving the negative side of all of this, so much attention, (and now you've got the whole country giving it attention) you are magnifying that negativity out of all proportion, and you better believe, you're going to manifest some big bad result from that. Negative focus attracts negative manifestation.

And really, this has been blown out of all proportion. Ellen had the dog two weeks, and while I'm sure she was fond of it, the tv sobbing was over the top. Moreover, the hairstylist and her daughters (who look to be adolescents or even young teens, not three-year-olds, after all) only had it for two weeks themselves. Yet the emotional explosions resulting from the dog's removal, bring to mind the sobbing parents of Baby M in the news long ago. You remember that? A couple had adopted this little girl and had her for 18 months, when the birth mother sued to get her back, and won. I remember the heartbreaking news coverage of the day the baby was handed over. (King Solomon would have had something to say about that case. But I think even he would roll his eyes over this doggie debacle. It's just not worthy of all the time, attention, and negativity it's brought.)

But it can be used as an opportunity for learning, for teaching, for discussion. When we get into a disagreement with someone, before we get mad, and defensive, and teary eyed, and begin publicly disparaging and privately threatening them, let's try this much simpler method. Talk to them, smile, be friendly, ask questions, apologize if we made a mistake, offer to rectify it. Most people respond far better to this type of approach, then they do to an all out attack.

Wouldn't you?

If either party were to ask my advice now, I'd first tell them how badly they messed up to begin with, and then I'd suggest, they let it go. It's too late to take the dog back. It has already been placed with another family, and why add to the drama by breaking another bunch of kids' hearts, removing the dog again, getting another family up-in-arms? I'd tell them to let it go, let it go, let it go. No lawsuits, no further discussion on tv unless it's to apologize to one another, but only if it's heartfelt and sincere, and not a PR move. If they really wanted to mend things, I'd have the agency match the hairstylist and her girls up with another pet, have the stylist give the agency owner a free new hair-do, and suggest Ellen make a hefty donation to the agency or give them free ad space during her show for the next few months. Maybe that would help. But short of all that, it would be good enough to just let it all go and move on. Release those oars, stop fighting the current, flow downstream. Ahhhh, so much easier.

Does anyone have other situations where things got way out of hand unnecessarily? Other things they think could have been handled so much more easily than they were? Other ideas about how this particular case was handled so far? Or things you wish you had handled differently in the past, given the clarity of hindsight? Post away, this could be a great discussion!

Maggie