Sacred Things
posted by Tara Taylor Quinn
on
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
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I'm filming an NBC documentary tomorrow. The shoot is scheduled to take three hours. It's here in my new home. There's been a lot of talking and coaching back and forth between my publicist and publisher and I regarding the logistics of what we're doing. And regarding the care and feeding of my safety as I step forward to speak up about something that has taken up a huge part of my life over the past two years - white supremacy. I used to be blissfully ignorant, thinking that the KKK was ancient history, something that only existed in classrooms and on All in The Family re-runs. I thought we'd progressed into a society of sacred beglonging, of understanding, especially after 9/11, that we must be accepting of our brother and sister Americans, that we must stand together. After all, everyone knows that divided we fall, right?
And then I was sitting in a courtroom, waiting to watch the outcome of a case I'd been researching for the current work in progress, and I saw something else. Something horrifying. And compelling. A man named Josh Fiedler was on the end of the chain. Josh was the leader of one of the largest white supremacy organizations in Arizona. He was there for a motion regarding his current charges. Seeing that young man, hearing his confidence in light of the charges, changed me forever. And The Ivory Nation Trilogy was born. I spent the next two years researching everything I could find on white supremacy and I found far too much. I'm still embroiled in it all as, this month, the second book in the trilogy, Behind Closed Doors is out, and I'm currently writing the third, At Close Range.
More than shocked me, or frightened me, the knowledge I've gained has done something far worse. It's put such doubts in my brain, and my heart. Made me a cynic in ways I'd never thought possible. Where I used to be certain that certain things were sacred, I now wonder if anything is. There appears to be nothing that some people won't do. If these were just common criminals, people who were led astray at some young age, warped before they could protect themselves, then, okay, I've got an explanation. But they aren't all like that. They're successful business people, church going people, who honestly believe that they are serving their god by keeping his world pure. They're sincere and would give their own lives to protect god's world. Don't get me wrong. Some are just plain mean, ugly, lost souls. Some are just skinhead gang members. But the cause doesn't live and breathe and continue to grow at alarming rates run solely by gangs. Think about that.
So then I got to thinking. What is sacred? Love? Find a divorced couple. Find some of the letters they wrote to each other when they were first together. Read about the undying forever love that they've never felt before and, they swear, never will again. Take a child who is not speaking to a parent. Read the letters of love that came before. The cards that tell how much the child believes in the parent. And yet, how sacred is that love? A spouse messes up, something happens, the love they felt they can no longer feel. A parent displeases a child and the believing is no longer there. Or is it there? Just buried beneath immediate life issues, surface things that get in the way and hide what really matters deep beneath its masses?
What about the preacher who has an affair with a parishioner? Or the judge who goes into someone's personal computer and reads and prints off private e-mails? Or the cop who shoots six people in a jealous rage while off duty? Six friends. People he went to high school with.
This week in Dayton a mother was charged with child endangerment because she left her little two year old boy alone. He'd been found wandering the streets by himself during morning rush hour, had almost stepped out in traffic, when a woman noticed him and saved his life. And last month a ten-year-old boy, in a fit of rage, set fire to his house, killing his mother and half sister and three other children under the age of ten.
And in Phoenix this week, they're talking about the worst case of child abuse they've ever seen. A five year old girl with 100 separate and countable injuries. Her father is in the military and claimes that he didn't know he couldn't use a strap to discipline her as he raised her in a basic training atmosphere that would make most new recruits cringe.
Maybe it's just the news. Maybe they don't tell enough about the good stuff. Maybe I've seen too much of the other side of life. Maybe I'm just tired and one too many sleepless nights are getting the better of me.
But I really want to know. Is anything sacred anymore??? Please, give me a list. I'll consume it. Gladly.
And then I was sitting in a courtroom, waiting to watch the outcome of a case I'd been researching for the current work in progress, and I saw something else. Something horrifying. And compelling. A man named Josh Fiedler was on the end of the chain. Josh was the leader of one of the largest white supremacy organizations in Arizona. He was there for a motion regarding his current charges. Seeing that young man, hearing his confidence in light of the charges, changed me forever. And The Ivory Nation Trilogy was born. I spent the next two years researching everything I could find on white supremacy and I found far too much. I'm still embroiled in it all as, this month, the second book in the trilogy, Behind Closed Doors is out, and I'm currently writing the third, At Close Range.
More than shocked me, or frightened me, the knowledge I've gained has done something far worse. It's put such doubts in my brain, and my heart. Made me a cynic in ways I'd never thought possible. Where I used to be certain that certain things were sacred, I now wonder if anything is. There appears to be nothing that some people won't do. If these were just common criminals, people who were led astray at some young age, warped before they could protect themselves, then, okay, I've got an explanation. But they aren't all like that. They're successful business people, church going people, who honestly believe that they are serving their god by keeping his world pure. They're sincere and would give their own lives to protect god's world. Don't get me wrong. Some are just plain mean, ugly, lost souls. Some are just skinhead gang members. But the cause doesn't live and breathe and continue to grow at alarming rates run solely by gangs. Think about that.
So then I got to thinking. What is sacred? Love? Find a divorced couple. Find some of the letters they wrote to each other when they were first together. Read about the undying forever love that they've never felt before and, they swear, never will again. Take a child who is not speaking to a parent. Read the letters of love that came before. The cards that tell how much the child believes in the parent. And yet, how sacred is that love? A spouse messes up, something happens, the love they felt they can no longer feel. A parent displeases a child and the believing is no longer there. Or is it there? Just buried beneath immediate life issues, surface things that get in the way and hide what really matters deep beneath its masses?
What about the preacher who has an affair with a parishioner? Or the judge who goes into someone's personal computer and reads and prints off private e-mails? Or the cop who shoots six people in a jealous rage while off duty? Six friends. People he went to high school with.
This week in Dayton a mother was charged with child endangerment because she left her little two year old boy alone. He'd been found wandering the streets by himself during morning rush hour, had almost stepped out in traffic, when a woman noticed him and saved his life. And last month a ten-year-old boy, in a fit of rage, set fire to his house, killing his mother and half sister and three other children under the age of ten.
And in Phoenix this week, they're talking about the worst case of child abuse they've ever seen. A five year old girl with 100 separate and countable injuries. Her father is in the military and claimes that he didn't know he couldn't use a strap to discipline her as he raised her in a basic training atmosphere that would make most new recruits cringe.
Maybe it's just the news. Maybe they don't tell enough about the good stuff. Maybe I've seen too much of the other side of life. Maybe I'm just tired and one too many sleepless nights are getting the better of me.
But I really want to know. Is anything sacred anymore??? Please, give me a list. I'll consume it. Gladly.
Patricia Potter
Tara Taylor Quinn
Maggie Shayne
Anne Stuart
Suzanne Forster
Lynn Kerstan
6 Comments :
Tara. . . The news media thrives on the bad acts of our society and seldom, if ever, recounts the good. It's because the good isn't news. Because the majority of people live good, healthy lives. It's the evil that makes headlines because it's the rare. Not as rare as we would like it, but far rarer than those who try to live productive lives. There was a story in the paper today of a vacuum cleaner machine door-to-door salesman who, when encountering a homeowner critically ill from kidney failure, offered his own kidney.
It's a story that earned print because of its unique nature, but I know so many people who quietly work to help others. The paramedics and nurses and teachers and so many others who make far less than they could in other professions because it's meaningful to them. There's all the The Big Sisters and Big Brothers. There's the thousands of people who help adults learn to read or raise money to medically serve children or/and adults without financial resources. There's the folks who deliver Meals on Wheels or build homes for Katrina victims.
The good far outweighs the bad, and that's why the bad garners headlines. Every day kindnesses get lost.
Only the bad is publicized, seldom the good Kind of like airplanes---you only hear about the crashes, never the flights that end safely.
The more we focus on the negative, the more of it we'll see, and more importantly, attract. You need a break from it, Tara. Go out and look for the wonderful, positive, loving, beautiful things around you and appreciate those for awhile, and let the others lie fallow, un-nurtured by your attention.
What is sacred? Life. Spirit. Love. Today, this moment, is sacred. Fill it with joy. If everyone lived every moment that way, the bad stuff would just cease to exist.
Hugs and happiness to you and yours,
Maggie
What is sacred, I think, is to be able to distinguish good from evil, and to choose the good. Many people do. Most of us stuggle to do that, in little ways and great ways, every day.
But it's healthy to know that darkness is part of human nature and lurks in most of us. For some, it breaks loose on rare occasions, is finally recognized, and is despatched back to the corners of the soul. For others, it takes control and leads them to do terrible things.
What always amazes me is the human capacity to justify inhuman deeds, and to tolerate those who perpetrate them, and (sometimes) to believe God will reward them for their actions.
I'm glad you're writing these books, Tara. The stories need to be told. But don't let them make you lose your faith in goodness and truth.
I agree with Estella. It seems like all you see on TV or hear on the radio is bad news. I get to where I really do not turn on the news anymore unless it has to do with the weather. I have enough in my own life to depress me at times. LOL
I don't think the world is all bad things happening... but evil and bad acts sell, and we live in a fear-based societyé, that is why we see so much disgusting things on TV.
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