Freedom From Want

Happy Thanksgiving!

My mom loved Norman Rockwell's art. I always miss her a bit more at holiday time, so I was thinking of her this morning as I was pondering my post, and I decided Rockwell's "Freedom from Want" would make the perfect illustration for today. He had a way of capturing the idealized American dream that no one else has managed to equal.

But being me, the title of the piece made me ask questions. That's what writers do. We question everything, and that, as much as anything, is where our stories come from. So I was asking myself if "freedom from want" is really a possibility. I honestly don't think it is. If we stop wanting, we stop living, really. We stop reaching for new goals, we stop dreaming new dreams, we stop hoping for better and better things. And it's just not human nature to do that. Freedom from hardship is possible. Freedom from dire lack. Freedom from pain and neediness. Those are all possible. But no matter how wonderful things are for us, we'll always want. Wanting is desire, and that's a good thing!

I think the key to being content and happy is in focusing more on what we have than on what we don't. Gratitude is powerful. And the equally important second half of that key is in focusing on the things we want with a sense of excited anticipation rather than a sense of lack.

Thoughts like, "I don't have enough money" can be replaced with thoughts of gratitude (I have more money than I used to have, I have more than a lot of people in the world, I'm so glad I have what I do) and thoughts of anticipation (I have limitless potential to earn more, boy it's going to feel good when it gets here, I don't have any doubts that it will.)

It's a subtle mind shift, but a vital one. Focusing on lack creates more lack. Focusing on abundance creates more abundance. Removing thoughts that make you feel bad and replacing them with thoughts that feel good, removes the resistance and allows that abundance to flow.

The thing about gratitude is that in that moment when you're mentally listing all the things for which you are grateful, you aren't doubting, or worrying, or feeling lack. You can't. Your mind is too full and too busy. And resistance falls away.
So gratitude is really the best possible attitude. (That rhymes!)

So begin your thanksgiving day thinking about all you have, and do it with an honest and deeply felt attitude of thankfulness. And throughout the day, say thank you to all those people and places and things that you appreciate. Try to keep it going as you go about your day.

And everytime you start to feel negatively about something, try to shift it into a positive feeling thought instead. It's easier than you think, and it gets easier with practice.

"I'm so bummed that I have to work on Thanksgiving," can be twisted and reshaped into, "Thank goodness I have a job." Think about the good things about that job, the people you meet, the skills you are developing, the paycheck that it provides. Look forward excitedly to the portion of the day you will get to spend with your family, rather than resenting the portion that you don't.

"I've got more to do today than I can possibly get done, and no one's helping me!" Can easily be shifted to, "Look at all this abundance, all this food I'm working to prepare. I'm so glad to be the one who gets to host the meal this year. I'm going to be so pleased when I put this beautiful food on the table and my guests' eyes light up. I'm going to feel so proud of myself for pulling this off."

"I wish my family wasn't so irritating. I wish it were more like those people in that Rockwell painting." This one's easy. "I don't require other people to act in a way that makes me feel good. I am in charge of how I feel, and I'm going to have a wonderful day. I'm glad I'll get to see my relatives, and just as glad they'll be going home after the holiday, and I intend to have fun and enjoy myself no matter how everyone else acts. I'm in control of me. They aren't. And I'm thrilled that they're alive and well and able to share this day with me. Even the irritating ones."

Remember to try to relax and enjoy all you do today. Remember that the screw ups that make you crazy today will be the memories you're laughing about tomorrow and talking about in years to come. Remember that it's only food and everyone is going to be so enamored of the dishes you put on the table that they won't notice anything that might be missing. Relax. Take a breath. Take your time. Relish the little moments that come and go throughout the day, the ones that make you smile. Smile more. Laugh more. Expect joy and let it in. Don't stress. You can't get it right and you never get it done, and you can't get it right because it's never done. So do what you can, and let the rest fall into place as it will. Relax.

It's only food.

And every time you start to feel that tense feeling, where you want to throw the turkey across the room, pause for just a moment and look around, and smile and be glad for all you have. Whisper a word of thanks, and breathe, and then move on.

And tomorrow, try to carry that attitude with you. It'll serve you well every day of the year.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Maggie