Taking Control (Tara Taylor Quinn)

Life is crazy. I've lived a few decades and from where I sit now, what I can tell you for sure is that life is nuts. Everyone has his or her own perspective and bungles around trying to fit that view in with the next guys, or, more often, to convince the next guy that his is right in an effort to gain validation for his own perspective. Freedom of thought and choice are the mainstay of our existence in America. They are the core rights that we fight to the death to maintain. And yet, by the very nature of the beast, we aren't really all that free. How can I go out and act upon my own choices when they directly, or indirectly effect others who have the right to not be effected if they choose not to be?

I've been making myself nuts lately trying to give everyone their space (from the stranger in the grocery store, to my closest loved ones) to be who they are. I'be been trying so hard to be open minded and non-judgemental and to recognize that everyone has the right to his or her own thoughts and choices as much as I do and to honor that right. I've been making myself nuts because I hear so many different voices in my head, all the different perspectives that creep in when I keep myself so open, and I'm left with a cacophony of mixed messages that are, at best, confusing.

Of course, I'm neck deep in the book that's due now, a dark dark tale that is more reality than fiction, a tale about the shadow sides we all possess. And the good sides that sometimes balance them and sometimes don't. I'm up to my ears in the voices of the demons that drive some people, and the voices of fear that try to control others. I'm researching things like infant death (baby boys are dying) and other horrors so unspeakable I can't write them here. And I'm finding out that everyone has a heart, and that people's hearts can get twisted through no fault of their own.

I'm also realizing that people really can make choices, no matter their circumstances, to make their lives joyful and productive. We can choose to rise above circumstance, to realize that the sun will shine again - even in Ohio in the dreary dead of winter. We can find pleasure in little things if the big things are out of our control. We can take small steps toward controlling more of the big things in our lives. We can choose to see beauty in the greyness. It's always there.

We can wait around for life to be perfect. We can place blame and feel justified in our rightness while we sit around thinking about the reasons why we aren't happy. Or we can find the things in our lives, right now, that make us happy. I have a little companion who sits in my chair beside me every single day. It's as if this being is an angel sent from God to watch out for me. If I get up, she does, too, and she stands and waits to see what I'm going to do next. If I go downstairs, she's right there on the stairs with me. If I'm in the bathroom, she sits there, too. (She hasn't learned manners and respecting space, yet!) I can sit in my chair and think of reasons why my heart is breaking. I can look to the future and be afraid. Or I can see that little body curled up into my thigh. I can touch her and let her warmth seep into my fingers and warm my heart. When I focus on her, she truly brings me joy. Every single time. I just have to choose to see her there.

I can feel like a victim. Or I can feel lucky. With the same set of circumstances. The choice is mine.

And some days, it's just damned hard to make choices. Or to know what choices are going to bring the most joy. Some days, a lot of days for me while I'm caught up in the dark world that I'm inhabiting while I finish this thriller that's due, it's hard to even remember that we have choices. Or to believe in the ability to see beauty or take control. But I've tapped back into a source I've long known about, to combat those days of darkness, and I wanted to share it with you all.

It's the wonderful, magical world of color. It's been scientifically proven that colors do things to our psyches, and our emotions, without us even being aware of its effects. Certain colors bring about certain feelings or drives. And if we know which colors do what, we've suddenly gained a very accessible way to take control, right now, in an instant, and to head ourselves on a more sure path to joy. All we have to do is surround ourselves with the color we need to tend to whatever situation we find ourselves in. We can paint a room in that color and sit in it - or simply color a piece of typing paper with a crayon and put it within sight. We can choose our clothes to effect our moods and desires. And our screensavers and computer color schemes.

Today, I very consciously chose purple. I'm wearing purple shirts (it's cold here and I've been forced into layering!) And purple jewelry. I'm in my office that is largely accented in purple. I look at the artwork above my desk that encompasses a purple heart - and is framed with a purple mat. And I take time to look at a fairy book that is accented in purples.

I'm doing this, consciously, because I recognize the negative effect this book is having on my belief system. I'm fighting back simply by consciously choosing to surround myself with purple. The color purple symbolizes transcendental expression. It increases philosophical expansion, enhances spiritual awareness, promotes enhanced intuition, advances communication with the soul and encourages optimism. I love purple!!

So...here's an experiment for everyone. Following is a list of colors and their properties. (This list comes from many sources as color properties seem to be universally recognized.) You'll see some carry overs and sameness in some of the color properties, but that has to be as the colors themselves are related. For instance, orange is made of red and yellow so some of the properties for orange can also be found in red and yellow. Find yourself, what you think might help you find more joy in your current situation, and surround yourself with that color. Just for a day. Give it a try and see what happens. On the shadow side (I need more purple!!!) if it doesn't work, you haven't lost anything. Color doesn't cost anything, this doesn't take any extra time (unless you decide to paint a room) it doesn't hurt and it isn't bad for your health in any way! So here's the list (purple is listed above.)

Red: symbolizes will, assertiveness, power, anger. It stimulates, arms, excites, and cheers; provides quick energy; counteracts feeling depressed; encourages constructive anger; increases physical strength.

Green: symbolizes growth, springtime, love, prosperity. It promotes serenity; enhances desire to evolve; provides inner balance and harmony; encourages properity; increases fertility

Yellow: symbolizes intellectual stimulation, clarity. It stimulates creative potential; encourages a cerebral approach; promotes communication; advances understanding; fosters educational enrichment; enhances ability to be open-minded.

Dark Red: symbolizes power, sexuality, passion. It releases old karmic anger; encourages intensity; enhances sexual passion; increases determination and drive; provides an increase in enduring energy.

Brown: symbolizes being earthy, reliable. It concentrates on reality; encourages discipline and responsibility; maintains focus on goals; promotes connection to body for all healing to occur.

Silver Blue: symbolizes feeling, calm serenity. It promotes relaxation; encourages creative expression; aids in accessing emotion; calms anger and agitation; shields against negative emotional influences.

Gold: sumbolizes authentic connections from the heart. It creates self-confidence; builds self-love and self-respect; provides warm connections to others; promotes courage

Rose Pink: symbolizes balance, harmony and cooperation. It encourages cooperation; enhances understanding in relationships; promotes creativiety; creates air of refinement; increases harmony and balance.

Electric Blue: symbolizes individuality and originality. It encourages uniqueness; stimulates need for humanism; creates innovation; enhances ability to be open-minded; promotes being rational.

Lavendar: symbolizes spirit, connection to God. It increases spiritual awareness; promotes attunement with higher consciousness; cleanses psychic channels; encourages self-forgiveness; promotes communication with the soul; creates meditative states that encourage rest and healing.

Orange: symbolizes healing and energizing. It manifests feelings of well-being; decreases depression; decreases fears; increases physical healing when emotions have created pain; creates self-confidence.

Today I am purple. What color are you???