Beware the Killjoys and Douche Bags (Suzanne Forster)

Did you know that douche bag was an official synonym for killjoy? Neither did I, but according to the Urban Dictionary, the second definition of killjoy goes like this: People who are douche bags and have to ruin the fun of everything, kill the mood or shoot everything down.

Uh huh, sound like someone you know? Me, too. They’re the ones with pins at the ready to pop our smiley balloons. They carry buckets to rain on our parades, probably because they’re terrified we’re having more fun than they are. It seems these people would rather sabotage others’ happiness than make an honest effort to have some of their own. What’s with that anyway? And how about those snooty types who enjoy sitting in judgment of others because it makes them feel superior? And last but not least, the know-it-alls. What’s more fun than someone who lives to boost their ego by demonstrating their intellectual superiority at every opportunity? I’ll bet they didn’t know that douche bag means killjoy.

The way I see it, if the douche bags of this life have that great a need to be superior, let’s give them an award: Big Fat Douche Bag of the Week, or something like that. Maybe they’ll pipe down and stop killing the joy for the rest of us.

With that in mind, and with no further ado, I give you my pick for Big Fat Douche Bag of the Week. Dah dah dah duum ...

For his incredibly mean-spirited take on one of my favorite TV shows, the honor goes to television critic, Mr. Jon Caramanica. Mr. C, which could also be short for Crankypants, wrote a scathing critique of “Dancing With the Stars” for the L.A. Times, Sunday edition, entitled: "Schmaltz meets mediocrity and what do you get? A hit."

The entire article puts down the show and by association, its viewers. It's such an elitist, snobbish take on the show that the you’re left feeling you couldn’t be anything but a mediocre human being if you actually enjoy it. Mr. C can’t imagine why anyone would want to watch B and C list celebs compete to win in a dance contest that celebrates mediocrity.

Really? Does he have no concept of the ingenuity and appeal of second chances or of rising to the challenge? Has he completely missed the fish out of water concept the show is based on and all of the other inspiring elements that go into it? Watching non-dancers stretch themselves to the limits to improve week after week and get so elated about their progress is not only inspiring to them, it's inspiring to us. Witnessing the handicapped find success against the odds is entertainment at its best, in my opinion. These contestants are better than life coaches or motivational speakers. They risk their reputations and occasionally their dignity, for which Mr. C criticizes them mercilessly, despite the fact that over past seasons several of them have gone on to become role models for us all.

He criticizes the judges too, referring to Bruno Tunioli as an “excitable monkey.” Better than a Big Fat Douche Bag, Mr. C. Sure, Bruno gets little goofy, but that's all in good fun and adds to the entertainment. And it comes from his heart. He's passionate about dance.

If Mr. Caramanica had included an email address in his piece, I would have sent him a copy of this blog. Happily. Possibly he should have reserved some of the nerve it took to write that all that rubbish about mediocrity and used it to shore himself up for the readers’ responses. Maybe I'll send it to the L.A. Times publisher and ask him to forward it to Mr. C. What possessed him to be so picky and demeaning, I don't know, but he doesn't represent the views of the twenty million Americans who watch the show, and since we outnumber him by a good bit, maybe he's the one who's off base and out of sync. What is he? A failed dancer? An aspiring judge? Methinks there's a whole lot of ego involved.

I first complained about the article in my Yahoo group and one of the members, Ray, who gets credit for turning many of us on to the show, said the only part of the article he agreed with was Caramanica’s observation that the judges were tougher on the women than the men. I would agree with that, and in Mr. C’s defense, he did round out his article with some praise for the women celebs and even one of the men.

Hm, maybe I should take back that award.

No, it’s all yours, Mr. Caramanica, and I’m afraid you do deserve it. But don’t expect another one. I sincerely doubt I’ll be reading your column again. That kind of negativity I can live without.

So what about the rest of you? Is there a douche bag or a killjoy in your life? If you don’t want to name names, feel free to call them Mr. or Ms. Crankypants. You might even give them an award. Maybe they’ll stop raining on your parade.

Suz