Help!

All week long I've had that word - Help! - screaming in my head. I've reached for the phone, needing to speak it aloud to someone, and then come to my senses. Who would I call? And why? What do I need help with?

Shaking my head, I put down the phone. And I continue on. Driving. Working. Taking out the trash. But I really want to scream, Help!

Help me train my abused and neglected dog. I can't discipline him because every time I look in those eyes, I see the sadness that first reached out to me. I see his cry for help.

Help me get the books read that I'm judging. Scores are due on Friday.

Help me tend to my precious little Taylor girl who loves so faithfully and spends her days waiting for those few minutes I take time to give her rubs. And feed her. She's asleep on my legs now - exactly as she has been for the past four work days as I slam into the end of another book.

Help me get this house clean and fully moved into. Help me get the oil changed in the car and the music downloaded and organized on my MP3 player. Oh and I need windshield washer fluid, too. And this morning, the door ajar light was on. (Oh, wait, I just needed to close the door on that one. Got it.)

Help me read the manuscript that I am supposed to be giving a cover quote on. And the pieces people have given me to read for feedback. I hate having them wait. I know how hard it is to wait.

Help me get my daughter back. Help me blend my family. Help me speak so I am understood. Help me be perfect. Or perfect enough. Help me love in such a way that my love blesses those I love. Help me help you.

Believe it or not, I'm not real good at asking for help. I'm much better at going inside and tending to things there - not nearly as successfully sometimes as if I'd asked for help. I always feel like asking for help makes you selfish, it's asking others to give up something they'd do for themselves or someone else, to do for you - like you're more important than those other things.

And then there's the other side. I asked for help with something yesterday and was likened to a heroine who was in a movie I recently saw. She was incredibly selfish. Whoops.

I once was told I was the most selfish individual the speaker had ever met. Ouch.

Hmmm. Do we see an issue here?

Okay, so I don't mean to be selfish, and if the following is, please disregard.

I'd like your help.

I'm on a several day crunch to get to the end of the dark book from hell. It's good. Too good in that it's sucked me in and taken over my being, convincing me that...oh, wait, no, that would be another blog. Back to help...

I need suggestions!!!! Please!!! I have a heroine who is involved with someone who is, behind her back, being instrumental in bad things happening to her in an attempt to control her by fear. It's working. (Way too good on me.) He has taken her away for a romantic weekend so that her house could be broken into while she's gone. He let her house cat out after she went to work and the cat was run over by a car. He left a threatening photo on her desk. Keyed her car. And helped a key piece of evidence in a case she's working on get permanently 'lost.'

She can't know who's doing this to her so it can't be anything overt.

WHAT ELSE CAN HE DO????? In a previous book I already did a broken windshield, rocks through windows, notes in the mail, and arson.

Please, if anyone has any suggestions at all, I need them!!! Today and tomorrow!!! The book is due Friday and while I've hit page count, it's just not ending.

Or...if you don't have any better luck coming up with nefarious doings than I'm having at the moment, tell me this, what do you think about asking for help? Selfish? Or not?

Here's a third choice (did I mention I needed help?) - with all the crud going around, there's a lot of tissue being used. So, is it irritating when someone blows their nose? Or not? (In my current state I could expostulate on that one for another whole blog, but I'll spare you.)

Oh, and in case I didn't make it clear, I'm asking for help.