Horrors: I've Turned Into An Old Fogey (Patricia Potter)

I’m off for the Big Apple next week. Tuesday, to be exact. The stated purpose is the Novelists, Inc., Conference. The real purpose: I love New York.
As I mentioned last week, I usually love everything about New York. The people, the tempo (very different from Memphis), the plays, the museums, the Hudson River..

So with my usual wont for planning every single moment of a trip, I started looking for Broadway offerings. I have Wednesday afternoon, Wednesday night and Sunday afternoon. I have saved all my pennies for two years for this particular guilty pleasure. So three months ago, I started looking for plays to attend.

I adore Broadway, especially musicals. I loved (an indication of how ancient I am) “Showboat”, “South Pacific”, “Oklahoma”, “1776,” and “Lil Abner.” I was entranced by “Cats,” “Chorus Line,” and “Phantom Of the Opera.” I was enchanted by the staging of “The Lion King. One of my all-time favorites is “Les Miserables,” which I saw four times on stage. The music is magnificent.

Okay, I admit to being Broadway’s biggest fan. It’s second only to oceans in the list of things that make me giddy.

But a funny thing happened on the way to the theater. I can't find anything beckoning. There’s little new and innovative. I looked and looked. I saw a revival of “South Pacific.” A revival of “Gypsy.” “Wicked” is there, but I saw it three years ago.

“Mary Poppins” is a possibility but when I went to a web site that reviewed plays, it didn’t do very well. Adult themes, some reported. A edginess, said another. Mary Poppins?

Sorry, but I like my Mary Poppins pure.

Three years ago, I saw “The Producers.” I loved the second act, but was turned off by the constant use of the F word in the first. I liked the old movie version better.

Someone told me “Jersey Boys” had great music, but any number of people walked out, again because of the language.

I’m not a prude. I worked on a major newspaper when most of the reporters were veterans. I understood cursing was part of their lexicon, and it really didn’t bother me, but when you throw it into a musical, I tend to frown.

That made me think of other things I don’t like. The lack of great juicy mini-series (although I must admit HBO’s “John Adams” is quite magnificent). But think “The Thorn Birds" and "Rich Man, Poor Man." When last have you panted for the next installment of a series?

And I don’t like the drought of big family sagas in the fiction area. Publishers want shorter and shorter books. Cost less to produce. Takes less shelve space. But I like a book I can crawl into and stay more than a day or so.

I’m also disgruntled that I had absolutely no interest in the top Oscar movies this year. I have precious little free time, and I really don’t want to spend it on serial killers and the end of the world.

So put me down in the old fogey category. I yearn for the days when they made movies that entertained rather than sent you running for the closest bottle of tranquilizers. I yearn for an enchanting new musical that’s not a revival. I want a book not sliced down to bones by editors.

And. speaking of complaints, I want music I can understand and which actually contains a melody.

So there it is. A very sad fact. I have truly joined the ranks of old fogies.

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Do try to see “John Adams” on HBO. It is really quite wonderful.

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I won’t be blogging next Saturday. As reported here, I will be playing in New York. But I’ll tell you all about the Ninc Conference the following week.