REGULAR PROGRAM INTERRUPTION (Tara Taylor Quinn)
posted by Tara Taylor Quinn
on
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
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Okay, my blog for today is still here, you can scroll down if you want to read it. But I need HELP!!! I have a book due on Friday and this weird pen pal relationship where all they talk about (for fourteen years!!!!) is philosophical stuff. About five minutes ago a question was posed and I have no answers. (I'm brain dead and can't get any deeper than what's for dinner at the moment.)
I NEED ANSWERS!!!!!!
So...she asks him, "Do you think joking can go too far? If the jokester means absolutely no harm, can his or her words still be too harsh? Or, if all parties understand that it’s joking and someone’s feelings still get hurt, is that someone just being too sensitve?"
What's written in in response???
I've got copies of Sara's Son for the three answers I pick! (You'll need to provide snail mail privately.)
ttq
I NEED ANSWERS!!!!!!
So...she asks him, "Do you think joking can go too far? If the jokester means absolutely no harm, can his or her words still be too harsh? Or, if all parties understand that it’s joking and someone’s feelings still get hurt, is that someone just being too sensitve?"
What's written in in response???
I've got copies of Sara's Son for the three answers I pick! (You'll need to provide snail mail privately.)
ttq
Patricia Potter
Tara Taylor Quinn
Maggie Shayne
Anne Stuart
Suzanne Forster
Lynn Kerstan
7 Comments :
Yes it can go to far...even if they don't mean any harm. I've been on both sides of that fence and its not easy either way.
It all depends on whos on the receiving end. If its something that was really hurtful to the person thats being joked about it can be quite tramatic even if its meant in a joking manner.
Then you have some who just cannot take a joke no matter how its done.
I don't know if I've answered it in the way you want or not, but if there is something there for you to use and go for it!
Sometimes something done or said in jest is really offensive to that individual and never forgotten. Others can perhaps brush it off bit are taken aback by it. It depends upon the relationship and their outlook and sense of play and sense of humor.
Hey, Tara--
Yes, it can go too far. Even if the recipient/victim knows it's a joke. It can be a particularly brutal form of verbal abuse (see www.drirene.com for lots of detail) in which the abuser feels free to say incredibly hurtful things and then blow off the consequences as "I was only joking" or "can't you take a joke" or "you're just too senstive." They use "humor" as a way to avoid responsibility for their actions. Ironically, I've found that verbal abusers who use this tactic cannot "take a joke" themselves, perhaps because they recognize that being the brunt of cruel comments said with a smile is demeaning.
Lorna
it's not a joke if someone's feelings are hurt in response.
look at how harmful sarcasm can be!
a joke is humor that people can laugh at, with, and enjoy.
it may be shocking but it shouldn't hurt someone.
that's not a joke.
you can tell a joke on yourself...using self deprecation.
Good luck with your scene!
Rebecca
That's an interesting question. Who defines a joke? At a comedy club, we accept that it's the audience.
I think it's defined by the audience in an individual context too. If it's joking by someone you love and adore, then he can make you laugh at something you'd find inappropriate said by someone else. I'm careful about joking with people I don't know well.
Mary M
the "hurt" person is handed an opportunity to examine why the genuinely innocent remark pushed their button. Not sensitivity {as in "too" sensitive), but vulnerability. What feeling did the remark trigger, why did the remark act as a trigger.
Discussion goes from there. Better yet, the moment privately saved for later dissection to gain insight. Then the discussion ensues on a new level.
Jokes are only funny from each individual's experience. Many hurtful things are said as
"jokes".If you know the person you may be able judge if what you are about to say may be hurtful and temper it.That particular person may be extra sensitive just for that time and another day it could be quite different.
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