Daydream Believing (Maggie)

What a beautiful day it was yesterday. I decided to start my day with a nice long walk, because it's such a good way to clear my head, focus my thoughts, relax my mind. Sometimes solutions to problems just float to me while I'm walking. Sometimes, all I get out of it is a bit of exercise and plenty of distractions from those problems. Daydreaming has a way of doing that. Either way, walking is a good mental health break, and I was needing one, so off I went.

My goal was Solon Pond, some distance from my house. (My total walking distance was a bit over 7 miles.) I took my camera with me, and almost as soon as I hit the pavement, I found my first subjects. A pair of turkey vultures had found a poor unfortunate beaver that had been hit. They posed nicely for me, before flying away. I love vultures, I really do. So unappreciated and misunderstood, but so good, really. They devour waste materials no one else wants to deal with, and their bodies purify everything as it moves through them. A vulture could eat enough botulism to wipe out an entire human village. By the time they passed it out the, uh, other end, it would be so pure it could be used as an antiseptic. Their Latin name translates to "Golden Purifier." I did feel sad when I glanced at the beaver, though. Female, fat, and with milk in her breasts. She was either expecting babies, or left some orphaned. I'm worried about them if that's the case.

Daydreams instigated: me hunting, finding and rescuing a litter of beaver babies. Oh, and me taking all the garbage I'm being served up lately, and somehow spinning it into gold.

The vultures left, and I walked on. Further along the way I saw lots of things to shoot. Apple trees in blossom, old stone foundations left where houses once stood, the creek that runs near my house. I whispered as I gazed at the creek, "I don't even know your name. I wish I did."

Daydream instigated: Me kayaking the length of the creek and having a blast!

Anyway, onward I went. I met two fabulous horses and they were happy to pose. The female came right up to me, but I wished I had brought her some sugar, because I got the distinct impression she was hoping for a treat. I don't really dream about owning horses. Been there, done that, and it's like indentured service. You don't own horses, they own you. But it might be fun to go riding sometime.

I found a kite in a ditch, and rescued it, untangling its knotted string as I walked on. I remembered seeing some kids flying a kite a week or so ago, in the backyard of a home I had already passed, so I kept the kite with me to return on the way back.

Onward I went, past spectacular vistas, fascinating swampland, an old abandoned house. And finally I saw Solon Pond glistening in the brilliant sunshine like liquid diamonds. And there at the old church on the shore, was a man doing lawn work.

I stopped to talk to him, because I love that pond, and I want to live on its shoreline, and I want to kayak in its water, and I want this house that sits alongside it, and I've wanted these things for a year and a half now. Just then, I wanted to know more about it. Well, the fellow turned out to be a member of the town's historical society, and one of the first things he told me, without prompting, was that the name of the creek that runs by my house is "Rocky Bottom." =) One wish granted.

Daydreams instigated: That's how it works. All my wishes can be granted just this easily. I wished to know the creek's name, and a few miles later, someone told it to me without being asked. All my dreams are going to come true that way. That's a daydream in itself!

Anyway, the man then started telling me some of the history of the pond, which was once owned by his own grandfather, and is now owned by a nice man from New Jersey. He pointed to the man's home, and said he has opened the pond to public use--fishing and so on--because it's healthier for the pond and the community that way. But, my new friend (I think his name was Dave) went on to inform me that he's fairly sure the pond is for sale again.

Daydreams instigated: I could fill a book with them! I buy the pond. I build a little out-building and stock it with canoes and kayaks to rent to folks. I clear a picnic area. I create a gorgeous garden where people can hold weddings. I buy that cool house on the shore to go along with it. I might even create a small campground in the wilds on the backside of the place. Ohhhhh, the daydreams!

Does anyone have about $400,000 they could lend me? =) Actually, it's been on the market for several years, so I bet it will keep until I come into my fortune. I've always dreamed of having a private lake (and at 40 acres, this pond is pretty close to being a lake.) I've dreamed of it, even before I came here and began lusting after this particular puddle. And I must be getting closer, because it's suddenly for sale!

Oh, I may not end up owning this particular body of water, but I love that the possibility has suddenly been proven real. This could be doable. I could probably borrow the money now, with the lake as collateral, should I so desire. What a thought!

Ah, yes, walking and dreaming, and seeing all kinds of potential. I talked to Dave for quite a while, and finally turned and headed back toward home. On the way, I attached the rescued kite to the fencepost near the house where I think it belonged. Between the walk itself, all the stops for picture-taking, and my long conversation with Dave, my little adventure took three hours. I enjoyed most of it, except when the stillness and peace in my head got interrupted once or twice with thoughts about things I don't have, things that are important to me and seem to be taking forever to come to fruition. I know better than to focus on those for very long, but damn, you have to have the patience of a freaking saint for some of these things. And the more important something is to me, the longer it seems to take!

Lately, it's been harder to think about those things with anything but sadness and impatience, and when that's the case, I know it's better not to think about them at all. So I have my occasional meltdowns, and then I turn my attention elsewhere and try really hard to ignore the stuff that makes me sad. I figure I spend about 90% of my time upbeat and happy and aligned and positive, looking forward to things I have coming with joyous expectation and excitement. I spend about 10% indulging in hissy fits and meltdowns and crying jags because they're taking too long to get here. (Hint: they can't get here when you're noticing that they're not here yet. They can only get to you when you get aligned with knowing they will and being so good at feeling as if they already have, that you don't really need them anymore. Then they show up. I know, it's kind of a dirty trick, isn't it?)

Anyway, I'm human. I lose it from time to time and stomp my feet and bitch about how no one is giving me what I really, really deserve. (And why should they? It's no one's job to give me what I want, it's my job to go get it for myself.)

Still, I pop right back after wallowing for anywhere from a few hours to a day or so. I think that's a pretty good ratio, 90% aligned, 10% whiny-ass. It's the best I can do, really.

Walking helps me stop trying so hard, and just relax and float wherever my feet take me. It helps me free my mind to daydream, and that's always a good thing.

What do you guys do when you need to just let go of life for awhile?

Maggie