Free at Last! (Suzanne Forster)

Sounds like I’ve just been released from prison, doesn’t it. Actually, it was jury duty, but close enough. Given my track record, doing my civic duty is beginning to feel like a jail sentence, and a very long one at that. I’ve lost count of how many years in a row I’ve been served with that scary looking summons that comes in the mail. It’s six or seven, at least. Why a summons? Really, it makes me feel like a criminal. Being assigned to a group and given a number doesn’t help either. And why am I the only one I know who gets tagged repeatedly, year after year?

Okay, I know we should all do our civil duty without complaint, but enough already. It’s beginning to feel as if I’m being singled out for harassment by the county court system. (I hope they don’t read blogs!)

Interesting, though, even with that many summons, I’ve never been chosen for a jury. Could it be the surly expression on my face that says what am I doing here again this year? Of course, I’m always on deadline and terrified I’m going to be chosen for a trial that drags on for months and months. The jury selection process is pretty interesting, though. I remember my first experience well. The defendant was accused of driving under the influence and causing a car wreck that resulted in serious injury to several people. The judge asked us to speak up if we had any reason to believe we couldn’t be objective. I’d had some bad personal experiences with drunk drivers and knew I couldn’t be objective. So, with silence all around me, I spoke up—and I was the first person to be excused. Perhaps they’ve been holding that against me.

I have a lawyer friend who said he would never choose me to sit on a jury. He said I was much too creative, bless his heart. Seriously, though, apparently trial lawyers don’t want fertile minds on their jury panels. I can’t imagine why. Maybe creative types are not as easily swayed, or too busy trying to out think the accused and his/her counsel. I can imagine most writers plotting the entire trial out in their minds for a future book and creating embellishments here and there, which could lead to all kinds of alternate theories on how the crime was committed and greatly complicate things in the jury room.

I was almost hoping I’d get picked this time. I thought maybe it was because I’ve never actually served on a jury that they keep recycling me every year, so I listened very carefully to the automated voice when I called in on my last day. She told me I didn’t have to call in again, that my jury service was complete. Now, does that sound to you like I’m home free? Let’s hope so! Even the IRS audits at random. Well, supposedly. They don’t pick on the same people every year, do they?

I’d call to inquire why I’m the most popular potential juror in the entire county, but I think it might be smarter not to draw attention to myself.

Suz, keeping her lip zipped and her head down…