Embrace the Madness (Maggie)

Where does the time go, anyway?  I can hardly believe it's nearly Thanksgiving already.  Partly because of the gorgeous, lingering Fall we've been enjoying here in the NorthEast.  It's one of the nicest I can remember.  I only wish the foliage had lasted as long as the warm weather has.  But we know it'll be back next year, and really, the brevity of that barrage of color is what makes it so special, and makes me cherish every glimpse of it so very much.

And so now the holidays are upon us, and all around me, families have begun stressing about who's doing what with whom, and how they all have more invitations than time, and how hard it is to rush from one event to another to another, because everyone is planning a big important meal on the same day and all those invited feel they really ought to attend.  Everyone thinks everyone else's feelings will be hurt, or that they'll feel slighted, or that it will seem someone else was more higher in the pecking order . . . or whatever other reasons we give ourselves to worry.

And the result is that Thanksgiving ought to be renamed "Stressgetting."  Or something.  (Given time, I could come up with something better.)

So let's take a step back and look at this with some objectivity on the subject.  First, Thanksgiving isn't a religious holiday.  It's a state holiday. It was established by the government several decades (not centuries) ago.  It's just a date on the calendar, people.

Second, giving thanks is something we can do at any time.  And since when do we need our entire clan present in order to do it?

Third, the whole idea of the holiday is really more about appreciation than gratitude.  Subtle difference, I know, but it is a difference.  You know that feeling you get, when you glance out the window and see a rainbow you didn't know was there?  You know how you just pause for a moment, and feel warmth and joy welling up in you at the sight? That's appreciation.  You're relishing it, you're enjoying it, you're appreciating it.  You don't formally give thanks to anyone for it, or maybe you do, but if so, that's a whole different thing from that moment of just basking in the rainbow.  Giving thanks comes after the feeling of appreciation. And it's the feeling of appreciation that will change your life, and your attitude.  The feeling of it.

So here's what to do as we enter the holiday season.  Remember to appreciate.  Pause, sit still, look around, notice things that are so, so good in your life, and bask for a moment.  Do this many times throughout the day, and you'll improve not just your holidays, but your life.

When bombarded by invitations and committments, and feeling as if there's just not enough of you to go around, sit back and take a deep breath and feel your way through it.   Remember that you can never go wrong by doing the things you really feel compelled to do, and skipping the ones you don't.  (When it's not a "hell, yes!" it's usually a "hell, no.")
Realize too, that a lot of that guilt and obligation you are feeling, is your own.  You're assuming people will feel this way or that way if you fail to attend their gathering, or fail to stay long enough, but you are usually wrong.  You can't know how anyone else will feel.

Show up, bring a gift, help out, bring along a dish to share, be pleasant and kind and then leave.  Don't feel you have to spend more time than you have, don't feel you have to attend every event from start to finish, and don't give yourself guilt over any of it.

Holidays are supposed to be times for fun, relaxation, love, appreciation, and gratitude.  Not stress, obligation, guilt, overspending, exhaustion, and ultimately, resentment.  Don't let them be.

Embrace the holidays and they'll embrace you.

Happy Thanksgiving!  I'll have another post ready to load on the big day, bright and early, so you can all read it before you begin your busy day.  That'll be my holiday gift to you!

Maggie