She's Baaaack (LynnK)

Well, sorta. Not altogether and full-force, but then, I’m rarely all together and hardly ever forceful. These days, my standards are not high.

It’s amazing, really, how much energy and strength leaches away after two virtually motionless months. Doing a load of laundry yesterday put me out of breath. A trip to the grocery story is akin to invading a small, hostile country. Tonight I walked to choir practice, maybe half a mile each way on level ground, and by the time I got home, I felt as if I’d crossed the Nefud desert.

But the pain is much, much less now, and I no longer have to spend sleepless nights sitting upright in a chair gazing blankly at the TV screen. The plumbing is working, for a change. And except for the Infinity Construction Project next door, no one is building or repairing anything in my immediate vicinity.

My standard for happiness has definitely hit rock bottom. Slight mobility, only moderate pain, and a growing belief that the Shingles viruses are about done with me. Huzzah!

My brain is not quite so fuzzy now, or so I fancy. I no longer spend agonizing days and sleepless nights exploring mindless stuff on the Internets. But you would not believe what’s going on out there. Or what managed to catch my faltering attention.

For example, I’ve been trying to teach myself Lolcat. It’s a language, sort of,
for cats if they bothered to talk, which appears to have originated at the website I Can Has Cheezburger?
http://icanhascheezburger.com/
I’d previously enjoyed the pictures and captions there, like this example.




But I hadn’t realized that a sort of cult (like Star Trek fans who learn to speak Klingon) had grown up around the cat-lingo. And now, on a Wiki site, lolcat fans are busy translating . . . wait for it . . .
the Bible.
Lolcatbible.com

Yup. It probably takes a warped sense of humor, which I was born with, to get a kick out of this. And with about 2/3rds of the work accomplished, I expect all the good Bible sections are taken. But if I have a recurrence of the pain, which has happened a couple times since I started improving, I may put my hand to a psalm or something. Lymond would be so proud.



Lik I carz!







Nah. Truth is, I’m having withdrawal pains. Feeling lousy makes even useless silliness shine like diamonds. It helped me through a bad time. Besides, I’m drawn to lolcat because, unlike every foreign language on the planet, it might just be easy enough for me to learn.

I can practically hear Pat Potter all the way from Memphis ordering me to get a grip and get back to work on something useful. Okaaay, girlfriend. Will do.

But meantime, for those of you not in a mood to work at this moment, here’s the lolcat version of a familiar biblical passage. In lolcat, it’s all about bad spelling. Oh, and God is Ceiling Cat.

Ceiling Cat iz mai sheprd (which is funni if u knowz teh joek about herdin catz LOL.)
He givz me evrithin I need.
He letz me sleeps in teh sunni spot
an haz liek nice waterz r ovar thar.
He makez mai soul happi
an maeks sure I go teh riet wai for him. Liek thru teh cat flap insted of out teh opin windo LOL.
I iz in teh valli of dogz, fearin no pooch,
bcz Ceiling Cat iz besied me rubbin' mah ears, an it maek me so kumfy.
He letz me sit at teh taebl evn when peepl who duzint liek me iz watchn.
He givz me a flea baff an so much gooshy fud it runz out of mai bowl LOL.
Niec things an luck wil chase me evrydai
an I wil liv in teh Ceiling Cats houz forevr.

May you all live safe, well-fed, and blessed forever by Ceiling Cat. Srsly!