Paddling Upstream (Maggie)

A lot of friends of mine who had sold books to a certain publisher, and were expecting them to be released in the coming months, just got the stunning news that the publisher has filed for bankruptcy and is going out of business. They're reeling, devastated.

It occured to me that they must feel a lot like I felt when the person I was seeing decided to end our relationship. I was reeling and devastated too. In both cases, it's like having your heart torn out, thrown on the floor and stomped on by someone you trusted. Someone you were counting on. Someone you loved. It may seem like the situations are very different, and in some ways they are. But for a writer, the dream of having her book published is very powerful, and I think being jilted by someone you love is the only experience that really comes close to what these writers are feeling right now.

I've been figuring out what helps as I move along, because I have to in order to function at all. So I thought the best thing I could possibly do is share what works, and the words of wisdom that have soothed me, with all the writers going through their own hell right now. All of what I'm about to tell you comes from the wisdom of Abraham.

It's okay to feel bad, so give yourself permission to mourn a little. But it's also important to feel good, as often as you can. When you feel good, you are moving with the stream of your life, which is carrying you ever onward toward the things you want. When you feel bad, you are paddling against the current, and you can't get to the things you want from there. You can only attract to you more of the things you don't want.

Feeling good isn't always possible--especially when something this awful happens. At these times, the only good move is to reach for a feeling of relief. Anything that distracts you from the pain, and makes you feel better, even a tiny bit better, is gently turning your boat back into the current of that stream. So for now, just reach for relief. As soon as you get turned around in that current, things will start to get better, and good things will begin coming to you. They can't get in when you're paddling upstream.

The busier you are, the less you have time to feel horrible. And if the things that keep you busy are things that make you feel good, it's even better. So start filling your schedule. Spend time with people who are uplifting. Avoid getting drawn into lengthy discussions of how bad this is, because that puts it front and center again. (I did this for weeks, just talked and talked and talked about how bad I felt, and felt worse and worse all the time.)

I traded in my car, rejoined the Y, started working out again, joined a belly dancing class, went shopping with a friend, bought a glorious dress, and started looking around and noticing that there were lots of other men who would love to spend some time with me. In relationships, jumping from one to another is not the best idea. But casual dating with no pressure and just fun, is very very good. It restores my confidence and reminds me that I don't have to be alone unless I choose to be. For the writers, start looking around, flirting with other publishers, being open to their interest in you. Nothing will make you feel better faster than realizing this one company was not the only one, or the last one, that's going to show an interest in you and your work.

Try to avoid lying around in depression dwelling on what you've lost. Instead, get out there and start looking for what lies ahead. You get to choose where to put your focus.

Life is like a banquet, full of things you like and things you don't like. When you let yourself dwell on and focus on pain and loss, it's like going to a banquet and choosing only the dishes you don't like, and resenting it, but doing it anyway. But if you can choose to focus on relief, and later, on things that make you feel good, it's like being a very fussy diner at that banquet, and choosing only the dishes that you not only like, but LOVE. Pick and choose.

When life hands you something you don't like, what really happens is that you learn; okay, by knowing what I don't want, I can now have a clearer picture of what I DO want. And when you know what you want, you launch a rocket of desire that shoots out into the universe and literally becomes that thing you do want. Once that's done, all you have to do is stop paddling upstream (feeling bad) long enough for the current to carry you to where it's now waiting.

Some of you are still too raw to hear this or get it. Some of you will get it right away. Some of you may need to embrace the pain for awhile before you can move on. I was listening to Abraham CDs several times a day during the worst of my pain. I'd feel better for about an hour or two, and then plunge into despair again, and then listen to the CD again, and so on. Eventually, the message got through. "Nothing I want is upstream!"

I also began to realize that, even before the break, I was feeling bad a lot of the time about the things that I wanted that I wasn't getting. Not enough attention, not enough affection, not enough love. (And by letting myself focus on the "not enough" I no doubt attracted more of them.) But it also was my inner self was telling me, "this isn't what you want. You're paddling upstream." Your emotions are your inner soul's way of communicating with you, you see. Bad emotions are that voice saying, "No, come this way. What you want is over here." In hindsight, the signs were there all along. And in the end, the break really set me free, so that my boat could turn, eventually, and begin flowing with the current again, toward the things I really want. They're all waiting for me.

They're all waiting for you too. This break has set you free from something that wasn't giving you all the things you wanted. Any misgivings you felt before the break were messages from your true self, calling you down stream. And now your boat has been set free, and once you get past the shock and the pain and disappointment, and begin being able to feel good again, you'll flow with the current and it will carry you on toward the things you really want.

That's my wisdom for the day. I'll add this from my personal experience in an area you might relate to more easily. When the Shadows line folded, I thought my career was over. I only had a few books to my credit, and the ones I most wanted to write no longer had a home. But Shadows wasn't giving me what I wanted. Not the print runs, not the bestseller lists, not the awards, not the money. I was already getting messages from my inner self, everytime I felt bad about those things. When the line folded, I was devasted, but I got past the pain and got back to my love of writing, and my boat turned. By knowing what I didn't want, I knew what I did want, and the current carried me straight to it, and it didn't take all that long.

I'm still writing those vampire books. But now they get great print runs, have great sell throughs, hit the bestseller lists, win awards, and make me a lot of money. That wouldn't have happened if Shadows hadn't ended. I'd have probably anchored myself right there, thinking it was my only option, for years longer.

Trust the stream, my friends. Cut the anchor line, let go of the oars and let the current take you on.

The title of this piece links to Abraham-Hicks.com where you can get more info on the wisdom I shared here.

All is well, it really is.

Maggie